Actually, hooray free food and comedy!
1) Upscale patisserie (yeah, that's how you know it's fancy, no fucking around with that 'bakery' shit) Financier is celebrating the grand opening of a new Manhattan location at 245 Park Avenue (at 47th Street). They'll be giving away samples from 6a-8p. I can say from experience that their mini palmiers are great.
2) At the Parkside Lounge (according to their website, "the champagne of dive bars"), 'Smooth Moves', a night of free stand-up, starts at 8:30p. Rose Surnow is the host, and guests include Dave Hill (sister gives two thumbs up), Ophira Eisenberg (oft MC/storyteller at The Moth and The Liar Show), Stone and Stone, Liam McEneaney, and Matt Koff. Head over to 317 E. Houston to check it out.
3) Not free, but a good deal if you want dinner near the Parkside Lounge: Essex (120 Essex Street) has $1 oysters and half price drinks 6p-9p. If you can't make it tonight, they have the same deal Sun-Thurs 6-9 and Fri-Sat midnight-1am. Perfect for someone jonesing to use a $50 Open Table coupon *cough*
4) If the weather's nice, consider heading down to the roller rink underneath the High Line (30th Street and 10th Avenue). Gotham Girls Roller Derby team is playing a public outdoor scrimmage from 6:30p-8p. Free to watch.
5) Or, if you're brave enough to fight the crowds, the season finale of the Bryant Park Outdoor Movies begins at dusk (lawn opens at 5p). Tonight's film is Dirty Harry.
Have [free] fun!
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